If I had a load of money,
I would spend it on better things
Than people offer me
I wouldn't buy a car or a house
Or a cotton candy machine
Well, at some point, maybe I would buy a cotton candy machine
But what i really want in life
Are a few things
That'll make a bunch of certain people cry
I'd sponsor a few abortions
For women I don't know
And I'd buy the homeless portions
Of chicken noodle soup
And if I saw a person crying
I would give them a bit of weed
And I would purchase seven spraycans
And paint a rainbow in the street where a homophobe lives,
Just so that he would get very pissed
I would pay a master thief
To hack a freakin' bank
And wire all the money
To the poor who need a hand
I would buy a few casinos
And turn them into pizza places
Where everyone can go and get a slice for free.